Why Mordor is great for you...

[Theonefish]

Mordor is truely the greatest place in all Middle-Earth. Why?

We're the Carribean of M-E!
We've got sun,
We've got fun,
We've got riches,
We've got food,
We've got stuff,
And the most important one...

We got wimminz. Thats right, we have the best wimmins Middle-Earth has to offer (Some minz too for you ladies)!

So join now and ignore all that Gondorian propaganda!

[werewolf]

mordor is truely the worst place on Middle-Earth. Why?

They've got baron wastelands as far as the eye can see!
they've got giant trolls that will eat you if they feel a bit peckish
they've got a daily diet of dried twigs, and meat from whatever moves the slowest
they've got tons of money, all of it belongs to a giant spotlight ontop of a big pointy tower
they've got pools of tar, and daily volcano eruptions!
they've got their finest quality weapons made out of cardboard from the deepest parts of the earth...

and most importantly instead of wimminz, they have big pits in the ground with small sweaty orcs hauling the new born orcs out of them with a giant hook!

so don't join now! and come to gondor...

[Losliath]

But the #1 reason not to join Mordor is they have Fish......

[Theonefish]

See here folks?
Werewolf is the perfect example of Gondorian propaganda!
But look how easily he can be defeated:

[12:13] * Theonefish_AttorneyAtLaw slaps Werewolf around a bit with a large trout

And Leela, thats the number 2 reason to JOIN Mordor.

Number 1 is the wimminz.

[Losliath]

No I'm pretty sure I had it right the first time. And for the record folks that's after WereWolf left to eat. Fish had to hit him when he wouldn't get hit back :P

[werewolf]

and we gondorians definatly dont go without a fight...

* WW_Food pokes Theonefish_AttorneyAtLaw in the eye
<WW_Food> REVENGE!
* WW_Food slaps Theonefish_AttorneyAtLaw around a bit with a large trout

bwahahahahaaaaa

[miruimor]

What TheoneFisf is trying to say,is that unlike
the Dwarves OD's fantasy Elf Chicks Mordor
has real Wimminz(What is it with you guys
Chicks/Wimminz can't you just say WOMEN).

Most of my force came from Gondorians who
embraced the dark.So join Mordor serve
the Dark Lord ,he's an equal opportunity employer.

M

[Losliath]

Well that's cause wiminz and chicks are more fun to say, derrr.....

[Theonefish]

Wimminz are better looking AND more accessible!

And Los that one was before he left to eat. He hit ME whilst I was away eating, that shows something of Gondor's cowardice!

[shadowavenger]

And we have...

Demons:
"Dread creatures that ranked among the most powerful of Morgoth's servants. The most feared of demons were the Balrogs, Maiar seduced to Melkor's service in the beginning of the world, but it seems the Dark Lord also had other lesser demons at his command."- Encyclopedia of arda

[Theonefish]

Oh yeah man, those guys are party animals. Non-stop fun when they're around!

[gondorian_knight]

Hmm orc wimminz.....can't be good. Why would anyone want one of those?
Now elf maidens - nice but live forever (cant get rid of them) and also dont tend to hang around much with mere mortals
Dwarf wimminz - really hairy.....nuff said.
Rohan women - 1 really nice woman but she's taken (also slightly edgy - dont want a woman thats that good with a sword)
Gondorian Wimminz - perfect

So Join Gondor!

[Theonefish]

Dunno, all those Gondorian wimminz looked old and haggy to me while I was pillaging the village.

And our wimminz are perfect wimminz. Not orcs, easterling wimminz! They got nice tans 8)

[Krahl]

This thread is one braincell from being locked. :bang:

[Valetar]

I think what everone is trying to say is Rohan is the best and will be forever :D

[Dewi]

This thread name is a lie.

[Mitchell]

yeah it should be chenged to why mordor is bad :)

[Old Dwarf]

All your Chicks ,now belong to US :P

OD

[Dewi]

Mordor has chicks, thats new to me. Ah, i see, stolen Elf chicks. OD, you can go and pick them up in your beer wagons. Unless we get more beer from thepalantir.org's birthday celebrations. After all, you are a Dwarven Bard. Get Emcee Hammer to help (you'd understand that if you joined the Khazad).

[silvani]

When people are talking about parties, they always forget about the best party place:

Just imagine large halls filed with fires that flash like in the disco clubs, loud music(bits) from the drums, loud chearing from the croud, everyone - everywhere( even on the walls :wink: ).

....Yes, you are right its MORIA, with goblins as party animals :wink:

That is where the party is, come join it. 8)

[silvani]

Oh.... even though I am evil and should probably say that mordor is cool and all ( I am not saying it is not :wink: ), just clarifying, that elven "whiminz" are better found in mirkwood and riverdale.
.... I think.... :wink:

[smeagol]

i think even though other people have allegiances to other realms, i think your all orcses. you all tooo busy arguing about who's best, and that's in the spirit of orcness. well good smeagol eats orcses and they don't taste very nice do they precious, but our good friend shelob is very nice. join mordor and you can hang out with her, just don't get in her way when shes ina bad mood.

[LordBoromir]

Rofl, fish. Truly hilarious.

[KingofRohan8888]

Don't join Mordor.

Sauron under pays all the orcs.

Gondor pays very well and unlike Mordor are babes don't look like they just came out of a pile of poo.

The Number 1 reason NOT to join Mordor is that if you fail you die.

Its a tough life in Mordor and if you get failure in Gondor nothing really happens.

[Baldor]

Yeah right. In Gondor Denethor punishes you for failing and makes you go in the forest. And anyway, Mordor pawned Gondor. Without your little friends, we would have clobbered you. Acctually, we did.

[KingofRohan8888]

Well at least we don't force are allies to join us.

Oh yeah going in the forest is MUCH worste than getting killed.

[Patrick]

What forcing, I willingly, as well as others alline to Mordor. It is a Noble Cause. and we get free man, elf, and hobbit flesh. :D

[KingofRohan8888]

Oh yeah getting corrupted with a palantir by the Dark Lord is not forceful.

You really can't say Moria is your ally because Sauron did send his own troops there.

[Faramir_of_Ithilien]

Up Mordor!!!! :twisted:

[Nolofinwe]

Up Mordor!!!! :twisted:
Why are you dissing your own allegiance? :?

[Baldor]

He's not. Hes saying up with Mordor. :)

[Nolofinwe]

Well he could of been more specific. ;)

[Baldor]

Lol, I guess he could. If your not more specific, you'll get the whip! :wink: As a friend once said, Where theres a whip, theres a way!

[captain_of_morgul]

I think what everone is trying to say is Rohan is the best and will be forever

Amen to that!

[Skywalker312]

Well at least we don't force are allies to join us.

Oh yeah going in the forest is MUCH worste than getting killed.

What forcing, i also willingly join Mordor in any attempt to destroy the forces of good. death to Gondor! :twisted:

[KingofRohan8888]

Well Saruon bred orcs (asumming that all who joined were orcs) were froced to work for Sauron.

If you didn't then you would probaly would be killed.

[Nolofinwe]

Well Saruon bred orcs (asumming that all who joined were orcs) were froced to work for Sauron.

If you didn't then you would probaly would be killed.
Well Theoden forced youths to fight for Rohan and Denethor forced the Knights of Minas Tirith to go out and charge the overrun Osgiliath with no chance of survival but you don't see us complaining.

[KingofRohan8888]

Well those youths knew that if they didn't help they would lose.

Those knights were under Faramir's command and so Faramir WILLINGLY chose to go to Osgialith.

[Patrick]

either way, you have a ****y commander!! :twisted:

[Dorthonion]

Mordor: A Land of equal opportunity, where no-one takes personal hygiene seriously and the food has that unforgettable tang of sulphur dioxide and hydrogen sulphide. Aah!

[KingofRohan8888]

What ****py commander.

Faramir was a better commander than Gothmog.

DOWN WITH MORDOR

UP WITH GONDOR
FOR GONDOR
FOR GONDOR
FOR GONDOR
FOR GONDOr

[Patrick]

then why did Faramir lead his men to certain death.....?

[Ortheron]

Those knights were under Faramir's command and so Faramir WILLINGLY chose to go to Osgialith.

so he WILLINGLY lead them to their deaths? thats even stupider than being ordered to do it.

[KingofRohan8888]

well it least you don't die if you refuse to fight.

I mean every orc bred had to fight or die.

and if they fought they would probaly die anyways.

It was that simple.

[ACMilan2377]

Khazad=the meaning of life

[Baldor]

Umm, excuse me if I'm wrong, but If Gondorian Soldiers refused to fight, they would be banished by Denethor and would be humiliated by the whole city.

[KingofRohan8888]

Well whowouldn't want to fight.

They would lose there kingdom.

What do orcs gain for fighting for Sauron.

NOTHING

I mean if they were banished they could just start new in another kingdom.

[Ortheron]

orcs would get to beat up on the gondorian/rohirric slaves :lol:

who wouldnt fight for that?

[Skywalker312]

orcs would get to beat up on the gondorian/rohirric slaves :lol:

who wouldnt fight for that?

good question, i wouldnt mind having some of the tin men as slaves in Harad.

[The_sea_of_Rhun]

orcs would get to beat up on the gondorian/rohirric slaves :lol:

who wouldnt fight for that?

good question, i wouldnt mind having some of the tin men as slaves in Harad.
They must get hot under all that pointless armour and sweat alot but then again its probably more like drips of nervous sweat more then the hot :)
WE WILL TASTE MAN FLESH.

cheers

[Ortheron]

woah, i had "de ja vous" when i read that, i posted it a while ago. :lol:

it is true, slaves are good. Especially when they work past their limits.

[Baldor]

Right, nows the best time to join Mordor and spend the hollidays in the black land. Come one, come all!

[Patrick]

No, Isengard is the best play for you, but what every floats your boat, and i tell you this only Uruk-hai can float a boat.

[Dorthonion]

In both the films and the books, the forces of Mordor used boats and rafts. There was never any mention of water in the context of Isengard other than the use of waterwheels to drive some of Sarumans war manufacturing plant.

Somehow, I cannot imagine orcs or uruks being all that keen on water. Maybe a line of soap would frighten them all away...

[Skywalker312]

"Soap", what is this thing you call "Soap", we have never heard of it have we precious.

anyways, its not like an uruk couldnt float in a boat, anything can float in a boat, but he said float your boat, didn't he. hmmmmm

i think what he is saying is, to put it bluntly, free peoples are bad sailors, join Harad and the corsairs if you do not want to sink :)

[Dorthonion]

Good to see the maskiroka working perfectly. Meantime at Mount Doom:

'Mr Frodo, when do we destroy the Ring?'

'On the count of three, Sam.'

'Alright then...One, Two...'

[The_sea_of_Rhun]

Good to see the maskiroka working perfectly. Meantime at Mount Doom:

'Mr Frodo, when do we destroy the Ring?'

'On the count of three, Sam.'

'Alright then...One, Two...'
And then bam :gollum: Gollum comes and bites his finger off and triumphantly jumps into mount doom and burns to death whil the ring lands on a piece of rock and floats of and fires out a side vent into the hands of the 5 ringwraith who then becomes second in command ang giveas it to suaron who comes back to full strength kills aragorn and gandalf and destroys middle-earth :D

[Gilant]

hmmm. Thats not the story i heard!? :D

[The_sea_of_Rhun]

hmmm. Thats not the story i heard!? :D

It's what me and a few friends thought that new line cinemas would do so they could keep on making rubbish pieces of $-!^. lol

cheeers

[SB129]

I agree with Patrick; Isengard is MUCH better. Just think of this when you're choosing an allegiance: Isengard has gunpowder. :twisted:

[Patrick]

we also have bread that we stole from the elves, long bottom leaf that we stole from the hobbit, and beer that we stole from Rohan.

[The_sea_of_Rhun]

we also have bread that we stole from the elves, long bottom leaf that we stole from the hobbit, and beer that we stole from Rohan.
GO isengard then, the easterlings may have to invade rohan then, although we make our own.
:wink:
cheers

[Baldor]

Orcs no need soap! We have mud! Wait, thats the uruks...

[Patrick]

yes Baldor that is us, and we are proud of our mud..

[Skywalker312]

we take sweatbaths in Harad, so we don't need your stinkin mud. water is too precious in the desert to waste on something as frivilous as a clean orc.

:bath: :soap:

[SB129]

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I prefer mud to sweat. I guess that's why I joined Isengard. :D

[Erkenbrand]

woah, i had "de ja vous" when i read that, i posted it a while ago. :lol:

it is true, slaves are good. Especially when they work past their limits.

I think you meant "Déja vu". It's a french expression :D it means: already seen yet.

[Farmer Maggot]

Why join Mordor when the Shire offers so much more! Better food, hospitality and the best Beer in Middle Earth!

[The_sea_of_Rhun]

And vicious doggses that chace away all da weaklins for slaughtarin.

cherz

[Patrick]

hobbits get made into Hobbit Burgers, for me.:D

[Ortheron]

woah, i had "de ja vous" when i read that, i posted it a while ago. :lol:

it is true, slaves are good. Especially when they work past their limits.

I think you meant "Déja vu". It's a french expression :D it means: already seen yet.

ooh, ladeda MR french man!!!!!!,

im not french nor do i speak it, hence the bad spelling. IThough I do know its meaning.

[SB129]

While I agree that hobbits do have the good life (never have to fight, can eat and sleep all day) but, as Patrick so eloquently stated, hobbits=hobbit burgers! :D

P.S. Truthfully, I have nothing against hobbits (I have a whole army of them) but I found the phrase "hobbit burgers" too good to pass up. :D

[Bil123]

I could see a major trend in that

"Hello and wlecome to the McMountdoom, May I take your order"

"Yeah i'll have a quarter pounder of hobbit meat with lettuce and cheese and a medium elf blood"

"That'll be 2 dollars please pull to the next window"

Hobbit burgers they're full of Protein and only cost 99 censt delicious.

that sounds good.

[The_sea_of_Rhun]

I could see a major trend in that

"Hello and wlecome to the McMountdoom, May I take your order"

"Yeah i'll have a quarter pounder of hobbit meat with lettuce and cheese and a medium elf blood"

"That'll be 2 dollars please pull to the next window"

Hobbit burgers they're full of Protein and only cost 99 censt delicious.

that sounds good.

MMMMMMMMM!

Hobbitses are yumsy.
:Bilbo1: :food:

cheers

[Edit by Ecthelion -- WAY too many "M's"]

[KingofRohan8888]

Just wait when those hobbits shoot you down with their arrows. :lol: :legobow: :legobow: :legobow: :legobow: :legobow: and eat you!

:hobbitduel: :hobbitduel: :hobbitduel:

[Skywalker312]

please don't abuse the Emoticons too much,

thanks